Life With Mono

Mono: The Kissing Disease

The first time I heard of this I was in the hospital recovering from the abscess in my throat. I was being questioned on possibilities on sicknesses I could have. When I heard of Mono, it was talked about as an STD which made me think that was the only way you could get it.

That’s where I was wrong.

Fast forward to a year later where the world has started to change to one of a virtual landscape. This is when I was finishing my last months of my freshmen year of college and I was conflicted on how to feel about Coronavirus. I was just getting used to my classes in persona and then everything shifted online. It was almost a new world for everyone including myself.

As time went on, I started to slowly get adjusted to my classes again and it was entering summer, so I was excited but nervous. The summer has always been a time for me where something bad happens near the start. I finally thought I broke through this spell, but I was wrong. This bad cycle started to sink its grip into me once again and I was scared.

Usually during summer, the shift in temperature is enough to give me bad fevers so that is what I prepare myself for. This changed since I got the abscess and I thought nothing could compare to that time. The worst week of that year was spent in bed, sweating, starving, and deprived of sleep. It was a week I was grateful was over and one I could recover from.

Once I started to feel pain during some of my classes I started to get worried. There are pains that happen normally because of exercise, sleeping wrong, or eating wrong. But this pain stretched throughout my body and caused it swell throughout. I was scared because there was so much I did not understand about my own body. Confusion went around the house as nothing would fix the issues I had. Eventually, my parents thought it could be my wisdom teeth so we ended up going to the dentist.

Funnily enough, I had an infection because all of my wisdom teeth were impacted. After an adventure to the Dentist and appointments were made, I got my wisdom teeth removed. After two weeks of recovering, I was surprised that my pain was still there. Our next trip was the doctor, and of course there is more waiting. After waiting a weekend, I finally get a call from the doctor and he tells me straight, “We found high levels of Epstein-Barr Virus.”

Just hearing that sounds scary enough so I started asking questions because I have no idea about what this means for me. I knew Mono only because of hearing it from a previous doctor but none of the details.

I have never had my heart drop faster than hearing it was not something you can cure.

I will admit, I was frustrated. This disease I never heard about is now something I live with inside of me and it starts this misconception about me. When I first told people, they get this idea of me being a playboy just based off the name. It is called the kissing disease, but it is not the only way you can get it I learned. It is transmittable by eating off the wrong dishes, someone not covering their mouth but the point is that it’s not only from kissing. People always ask me where it came from, but I have no answer as much as I would want to. I learned that no matter how careful you are, there are just some things you are never ready for.

Mono has changed my life in a way that I never imagined. It has made me feel disconnected from my own body and even today, I struggle connecting myself back. My life starts feeling like one full of exhaustion randomly and I can’t overwork myself unless I want to have my body swell up in pain.

This experience has taught me that sometimes you can’t control what happens all the time in your own life. This does not mean life has to stop though. Your journey can continue, even if you need to take breaks along the way. Life has many trips along the way and it can become overwhelming but you need to remember you are not alone. Everyone is here together so don’t be afraid to ask for a helping hand. Even a building needs support to stand up straight.